“Dabbing for Denver” – Broncos Fans Respond to Cam Newton’s Victory Dance

DabbingforDenver

Trent Brockman, Sports Correspondent

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIF.-  With Super Bowl 50 just around the hour, the nation anticipates the minutes until the big game. At home and on the sidelines of Levi’s Stadium, Denver Bronco fans anticipate dabbing themselves stupid with victory, but not the way Cam Newton does it.

Newton, who finished am impressive season with forty touchdowns, ten interceptions, and a quarterback rating of 99.4, celebrates his victories with a dance referred to by his Carolina Panthers fans and fellow athletes as “Dabbing.”

Off the field, and on couches all across the nation, non-athletes and Broncos fans have a whole different meaning for the term “dabbing”: Pressing cannabis extract known as hash, oil, or shatter, against a heated surface of an rigged bong or pipe, and inhaling the smoke to become exceptionally high.

In response to taking a word from their native pothead language, Broncos fans have created a victory dance of their own, just for the Super Bowl, called “Dabbing for Denver.” Each time Cam Newton is sacked, or throws an interception, Denver fans will be encouraged to consume one dab hit. Kinda like a drinking game, only with dabs.

On a day where drunken belligerence is sometimes the norm at parties and bars, Colorado authorities actually reported a lesser fear of dealing with fights or riots, mostly because dabs put people on their ass the same way the Broncos might be putting Cam Newton on his ass.

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“Dabbing for Denver” – Broncos Fans Respond to Cam Newton’s Victory Dance

“Milk and cookies are cool…but how about some fire ass shatter?” says Santa

Santa Dab

HUMBOLDT COUNTY, CALIF. – The Board of Supervisors received a press release today, from the fat man himself:

*****
Grow, ho, ho!

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and whatever else is offensive this year!

Christmas is near, and Santa has but one request from all the nice boys and girls of Humboldt County…

Please, oh please, won’t you leave me some fire ass shatter by the Christmas tree this year?

That shit is expensive.

Love,
Santa
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Santa is scheduled to be flying over our area sometime late on December 24, so be sure to have your butane refilled and ready to go by early evening.

For more info, and to track Santa’s flight schedule, click here.

“Milk and cookies are cool…but how about some fire ass shatter?” says Santa