EUREKA, CALIF. – Eureka Fire Department responded to the 1800 block of P Street last night where a hash lab caught fire and exploded, engulfing the residence and trapping a resident on the second story. The dankness of the hash allegedly gave the fireman an instant contact high upon arriving to the scene, leaving the hippie responsible for the explosion stuck inside his burning home, while they laughed and sprayed each other with hoses.
“Hey, Frank! Start singing that ‘Maniac’ song like Chris Farley from Tommy Boy!” yelled one fireman to his overweight colleague as he sprayed him with the firehose. When approached for comment on the situation, the fireman with the hose just kept yelling, “Look at his face! Look at his god damn face when I spray it; it’s hilarious!” and continued to laugh his ass off, completely unburdened by the still burning home.
Updates on the amount of the dank hash recovered from the scene will be made publicly available as soon as possible.